Honest Lessons from My First 3 Months of Motherhood
- Daffodil Mama
- May 22
- 7 min read
Updated: Jun 9
Becoming a mother is a wild experience that can be both rewarding and overwhelming. As I reflect on my first 3 months of motherhood, I realize that the journey is filled with humbling moments, tears, and challenges that test your resilience. This reflection aims to share some of the most honest lessons I learned during this wonderful yet trying few months, hoping to resonate with new mamas and provide insights for those about to embark on this journey.
Asking for Help
One of the first lessons I learned was to ask for help. The first weeks with a newborn are unpredictable. Not only was I struggling to heal physically, but I also struggled emotionally. I wanted to be there for everyone else but myself. My parents and in-laws would ask what they could do and my first answer was always "I got it". It took a few breakdowns for my husband to help me understand the changes that I had just gone through and how it's okay to need help in the state I was in. Although it was difficult, I found that accepting help from others while I was healing did not make me weak.
Practical Tips:
Communicate with your partner: Keeping my struggles, doubts, and worries on the inside is what got me to a breaking point. But once I started to lean on my husband, things became clearer for me.
Let go of perfection: Your home doesn’t need to be spotless. Focus on spending quality time with your baby instead of clearing out the sink.
Trust others: At first it was hard for me to ask someone else to take care of my baby. I felt a need to prove I could do it all. I loved the snuggles, but I felt like I never got a break. As soon as I realized that one of the best gifts I have is two grandmas who could hold her all day, I began to feel less selfish by asking family members to help out.
The Importance of Self-Care
As a new mother, it’s easy to put your needs on the back burner. However, I quickly learned that taking care of myself was essential for my well-being and my baby’s happiness.
Self-Care Strategies:
Schedule “me time”: Whether it’s a walk, reading a book, or simply enjoying a cup of coffee, carve out time for yourself.
Daily shower: This one may be hard for people without help or with lots of little ones. But I prioritized at least one shower a day during the first few months. The warm water and steam allowed me to disconnect and helped relax all my healing parts. 10 minutes under the warm water does wonders for me.
Phone jail: Take at least 2 hours of your day where you can't even see your phone. This helped me remain present with not only my baby, but my husband during this new and exciting time in our lives.
The Power of Community
Motherhood can sometimes feel isolating, especially in the early days. I discovered the importance of building a support network. Connecting with other mothers provided me with a sense of belonging and understanding.
Building Your Community:
Utilize Social Media: It's a great tool for learning what others have gone through. It is validating to hear a stranger speak on the EXACT situations you are going through. I would limit the time spent scrolling because it is easy to get carried away with screen time :)
Reach out to friends/family: Don’t hesitate to connect with friends who are also parents. Sharing stories can be incredibly comforting. I learned a lot about the great women in my life by sharing my own experiences and hearing about theirs.
Learning to Trust Your Instincts
Every baby is different, and what works for one may not work for another. I learned to trust my instincts and listen to my baby’s cues. This was a significant shift from relying on advice from books or online sources. It can feel a little strange to begin to understand the cues and cries of your newborn, but it's totally natural and has driven connection between me and my baby.
Tips for Trusting Your Instincts:
Observe your baby: Pay attention to their needs and preferences. It's okay to get it wrong the first few times, but once you understand their routine, life becomes a lot easier. Journaling my observations helped me, and there are plenty of apps to keep a running list of feeds, naps, etc.
Be confident in your choices: Whether it’s feeding, sleeping, or discipline, trust that you know your baby best. This one was a little hard for me at first, because I am a new mama. But the more time I worked towards understanding my baby, the better I felt.
The Joy of Small Moments
In the whirlwind of motherhood, it’s easy to overlook the small joys. I found that celebrating little victories—like a smile or a coo—made the tough days more bearable.
Finding Joy:
Celebrate Milestones: Write down what your baby is doing and when. This practice can help to shift your focus. Every small or big milestone is celebrated between the people we care about. I have found that acknowledging the little things creates more meaning in my life.
Take photos: Capture everyday moments. Looking back at these photos can bring a smile to your face. I have already looked back through almost every picture I have taken multiple times, just to try and relive it. Babies' faces change so quickly, and by going through my photos, I become more thankful for the time I've been blessed with.
Navigating Relationships
Motherhood can change your relationships, both positively and negatively. I learned that communication is key to maintaining strong connections with my partner, family, and friends.
Strengthening Relationships:
Prioritize quality time: Make an effort to spend time with your partner and loved ones, even if it’s just a quick chat. It can feel very isolating to spend the day by yourself. A quick phone call to my dad or a gaming session on "It Takes Two" with my husband can help lift my spirits.
Be open about your feelings: Share your struggles and triumphs with those close to you. Vulnerability can deepen connections. I always felt like people never talked about the first few months, and I think that's because of how hard they are. When I am honest with others about how I am doing, it lifts a weight off of me that I don't want to carry around.
The Reality of Sleep Deprivation
Sleep deprivation is often one of the harshest realities of new motherhood. I quickly learned that it’s okay to feel exhausted and that finding ways to cope is essential.
Coping with Sleep Deprivation:
Nap, nap, nap: Take advantage of family being around the first few weeks. I think the expectation of napping when the baby naps is unrealistic. For me, napping when grandma holds the baby has worked out the best.
Be realistic: Routines are hard to establish the first few months. One night could go great, and you feel like you figured it out, but then the next night has three times the feedings. Not every baby will sleep 7 to 7 by week 4, and if that is your expectation, you will most likely have a rude awakening (literally).
Accepting Change
Motherhood brings about significant changes, not just in your lifestyle but also in your identity. I learned to accept these changes and embrace the new version of myself.
Embracing Change:
Reflect on your journey: Take time to think about how you’ve grown as a person and a mother. I did not think I could ever journal, but my first few months have been so chaotic that taking the time to write out your thoughts helps to quiet the noise.
Stay open to new experiences: Be willing to adapt and try new things, whether it’s parenting techniques or self-care practices.
Conclusion
My first 3 months of motherhood have been a journey filled with lessons, love, and growth. Each challenge has shaped me into a more resilient person, and every joyful moment has reminded me of the beauty of this experience. As I continue on this path, I carry these lessons with me, ready to face the challenges and continue to snuggle my little one.
For new mothers or those about to embark on this journey, remember that it’s okay to feel overwhelmed, to seek help, and to celebrate the small victories. Motherhood is a unique experience for everyone, and it’s essential to find your own way through it. Embrace the chaos, trust your instincts, and cherish the moments that matter most.
Featured Products
As an Amazon Associate, I can earn from purchases made using these links. But I wanted to make sure that if anything you see in my daughter's crib caught your eye, you could be able to find them yourself!
Farm Animal Mobile: This mobile is from Lambs & Ivy, and my daughter gets super excited every time she sees the animals spinning. So far, my only use for it has been to place her in the crib and have her watch and listen to the songs while I put away her clothes. But the sounds are so soothing, and I love this detail in her nursery.
Crib Sheet: Keeping the theme of farm animals, Lamb & Ivy made matching sheets that I had to get. I grew up on a small farm and loved the idea of a farm animal nursery. I didn't want to transform her whole room or spend a lot of money, so these sheets were the perfect addition to help me reach my goal.
Mattress Protector: Even though you can't see it, I wanted to link the mattress protector we used for our baby's crib. I have not had any accidents to test it out, but I chose this option because it came in a 2-pack and it had solid reviews.
Crib Skirt: You can't really see it too well in the photo, but this crib skirt is super cute and the right amount of girly for me. I felt like it was subtle enough with the pom pom details to continue with a little farm girl theme.
Scooby-Doo Plush: You may have noticed the out-of-place Scooby-Doo in the crib and wondered if there's a story behind that. My husband is a die-hard fan of the classic Scooby-Doo characters, and I realized he probably didn't feel represented in all the gifts/products we got for our new baby. I found this plush on Amazon and knew he would be geeked out that his daughter could start her Scooby-Doo journey young!
Laundry Hamper: I purchased a 2-pack of these hampers to place around the house to (hopefully) motivate certain members of our family to choose the hamper over the floor. It's very durable and does not make our home feel cluttered, but instead has a nice design and keeps our home tidy.
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